Dating is a crazy thing. Most people on our

society haven't figured it out.

But it's pretty cool once you've gotten it

figured, like my good friend and parter Vincent

DiCarlo.

Allow me to share with you Vin's Three Rules of

Dating:

1) Have it be convenient for you.

2) Keep it inexpensive.

3) Make sure you can talk where you're at.

Or, if you prefer, The Three C's of Dating:

C1) Convenient.

C2) Cheap.

C3) Conversation.

This will give you the best chance to get the

girl. Dates that are not Convenient for you will

make you seem like you're working hard to impress

her, or of low status. For this reason, don't

drive three hours to see her, and certainly don't

plan a grand production with a limo and a string

quartet for your first dat.

Cheap! Cheap is good. Cheap is no pressure. A

woman would rather have a pleasant walk through a

park with a guy that's no pressure than go out to

eat an expensive restaurant that's heavy

pressure. As a general rule, the more something

costs, the more pressure is involved. Also, women

don't want to feel like you're trying to buy

their attention. For these reasons, it's actually

better to keep dates cheap. I'm not saying BE

cheap, I'm saying go on inexpensive dates.

And conversation, the all important thing that

lets you find about each other. You need a date

that lets conversation go smoothly and easily.

Here's a pop quiz - What are the two most common

dates?

If you answered movies and dinner, you're

correct. But both violate cardinal rules of

dating.

With a movie, there's no chance for conversation.

For two hours, you're sitting there in the dark

and can't really talk. That's all well and good

if you're with your girlfriend, but on the first

few dates, you don't want that. And as an

additional negative, movies are getting more and

more expensive these guys. It could cost $30 for

two tickets, popcorn, and drinks these days. How

it costs that much is beyond me, but that's too

expensive for a first day for sure.

Dinner. Well, dinner's not cheap. Even cheap

dinner's not cheap. So she might feel like you're

trying to buy her attention, which is always bad.

It makes women uncomfortable, and makes her think

you're of low status. Like you need to buy her

attention.

But here's something many people don't realize

about dinner: It's bad for conversation. You're

sitting directly across from each other with very

little subject matter except for menus. There's

lots of pressure, and if the conversation slows

down, it can be awkward, which wouldn't be the

case in many of the dates I'm about to suggest

for you. Planning dinner as part of a date is no

good, so leave it alone.

Good Dates:

Remember, you want your dates to be Convenient,

Cheap, and be able to have some nice

Conversation. How to do that?

A favorite 'date suggestion' from me is coffee. I

like coffee, since you've got options. You go get

a cup of java with her on a Saturday afternoon.

If she shows up and turns out to be the type of

girl you don't like (either she's not physically

your type on further inspection, or has nothing

going on upstairs) then you can leave no problem.

But if she turns out to be an awesome girl? After

coffee, you can go grab a slice of pizza. Yes,

it's okay to eat on dates... making your date

itself getting a meal is bad, but if you're

spending time together and get hungry, go eat.

You're basically treating her like someone you're

very comfortable with. If you went to get coffee

with a close friend, or one of your relatives

that you like, and got hungry, you'd say let's go

grab a bite to eat. No pressure there.

Here's a great line if you're at coffee: "You

hungry?" If she answers yes, you say, "Okay me

too, let's grab a slice of pizza." If she says

no, you say, "That's okay, you can watch me eat."

The second one, in particular, gets wonderful

results and you just eat something light in front

of her and keep conversing.

Other things: Walk around and look at touristy

stuff if you live in a city. Believe it or not,

most people never see the sites in their home

city. I live on the East Coast, and I've never

seen the Statue of Libery in New York City, never

walked the Freedom Trail in Boston, and haven't

been to any of the memorials in Washington D.C.

Of course, I've seen all the touristy stuff in

London and Mexico City and many western states,

but that's the point. If you walk down the road

from where you live to some historical monument,

it's a great time, and there's a good chance

she's never been there.

Of course, if you're not in your home city, fun

little places still work too. You can have her

some you around a bit, which is good.

As I mentioned earlier, I like coffeeshops.

Starbucks-esque places are okay, but I really

like artistic coffee shops, with different music

and fun things to look at. My favorite coffeeshop

of all time had different music playing every

time I went, interesting local art on the walls,

and one of the large unisex bathrooms had

floor-to-ceiling chalkboards lining all four

walls. People would write poetry and draw

pictures on the chalkboards, or just sign their

name. Let me tell you, my friend, that was the

easiest bathroom in the world to get your date

into with you!

Another date I like: Window shopping. If you walk

through a mall, there's going to be plenty of

interesting stores. You can have a cup of coffee

if you like coffee (or tea or hot chocolate or

whatever), and walk around looking at interesting

things. One of my favorite shops is a large

kitchen shop with all sorts of cool things.

They've got all sorts of crazy cooking

instruments, various pots and steamers for all

different types of cuisine, recipes and sauces ,

cool looking plates, and anything and everything

else you could imagine. From there, it's really

easy to situationally relevantly talk about what

she can cook, and what she's going to cook for

you!

Walk into whatever stores you please. Just be

careful with Victoria's Secret: Vincent once was

in Victoria's with a girl he was on a date with,

holding up lingerie and talking about she'd look

good in. His date was loving it, eating it up,

but then her friend walked over! Yikes, Vin tells

me the girl blushed pretty hard.

Other places to go: Walks through parks, and by

rivers and ponds. Free or cheap baseball games,

either a local team's or even a nearby school's.

Iceskating and rollerskating are actually pretty

good first dates. They're cheap if you go on

their discount night (it's Tuesday at my favorite

rollerskating place), it's convenient for me, and

it's great for conversation. And by the way, I'm

not exactly the best rollerskater in the world.

In fact, I'll admit it: I'm downright terrible.

But it works well anyway! I say to her as we're

walking in, "Okay, I can't skate at all, so

you're going to have to kinda 'be the guy' and

hold my hand and make sure I don't fall over,"

said half-kiddingly. And to top it off, when we

get our skates, I say, "You got this one?"

Meaning, "Are you paying?" They do most of the

time, and it sets a good frame.

Alright, so you've gone on a fun date or two with

her. First you met for coffee, then walked around

and went window shopping and looked at stores,

had a bite to eat, and parted. Second date, you

went rollerskating or to one of those fun museums

like the Spy Museum in D.C. Now, you want to have

her over to your place. What's a good date for

that?

Cooking dinner with her.

One of the best dates before you sleep with a

woman. Not so good first date, but after that,

it's great. Now, I don't want to hear you can't

cook - I can't, either. I make exactly one dish

well that doesn't involve grilling. But that's

all I need. I make a spaghetti with a mushroom

and onion meat sauce, and French bread. It's not

hard.

Learn one dish, or just have a general idea of

what you want to make. Then go over to her place

with the ingrediants, or have her come over to

yours. From there, give her duties as you cook. I

have my date stir the pasta or sauce while I dice

up vegetables and get the meat ready.

After we make a mess cooking, we wash up and chat

waiting for dinner to finish. Then we eat dinner,

and maybe a little fresh fruit at the end. Having

her feed you strawberries is a nice touch if you

can pull it off.

And from there, use your imagination. When it

comes time to bring them to the bedroom, remember

to use situational relevance. So you can either

start kissing her in the living room, then bring

her by the hand to the bedroom, or you can say

there's something interesting in your bedroom

that she just needs to see...

Sebastian Drake has been writing in the fields of Seduction, Diplomacy, and Leadership for the past five years. In the past two years, he has won praise and accolodates for his oustanding and effective coaching on live programs, workshops, and seminars. He is a cofounder of theApproach: The Science of Social Chemistry for the Modern Gentleman, bringing profound lifestyle changes to any man's social, romantic, and sex life.

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